One of the most common conflict that youth and young adults face is bullying. As a caring adult in these youths’ lives, you need to be a safe space. If your youth can speak openly about their problems, you can help them through this tough time.

To help bullied youth, you must first know the signs. When a youth is being bullied, it is not unusual to see changes in that youths’ attitudes and behaviors. While every child reacts differently, there are certain signs you can watch out for (How to talk to your children, 2020):

Research shows that when youth have caring adults in their life, they are more likely to grown into productive adults (Murphey et al, 2013). Caring adults can be a youth’s parents, neighbors, other relatives, coaches, and more. Youth that have caring adults in their lives are also more likely to stay calm in a crisis and less likely to bully others (Murphey et al, 2013). Being a judgement-free space for the youth in your life to confide and decompress is a great way to be a caring adult.

Research has shown that when youth and adults work together as equals, the youth become more resilient (Pace, 2018). This resiliency can help them better deal with tough situations. Youth-adult partnerships (YAPs) can empower youth to speak up for themselves. Participating in a YAP can help youth deal with bullying, while also correcting bullying behavior. When the group create clear guidelines for how members communicate, it helps youth learn to speak to each other respectfully.

According to the Youth Voice Project survey, there are three ways an adult should never respond to a youth being bullied (Olsen and Pace, 2013, page 25). The first “wrong way” is ignoring the youth’s call for help. By ignoring a vulnerable youth, you are telling them that you do not want to talk about their issues. Instead of teaching youth to be open, this teaches them to keep their problems to themselves. The second “wrong way” is telling youth to solve their bullying problems alone. This is another way to sever any trust or connection with your youth. Lastly, you should never scold the child for “tattling” on the child who is bullying them. These responses will discourage youth from talking through their problems. By bottling up these feelings, their mental health is likely to decline. To be a caring adult, youth must trust you and will listen to their problems without judgement.

When facing bullying, some youth can have difficulties opening up to adults. Because of this, it is important for youth to have access to resources to help them. Below are resources for a variety of bullying and cyberbullying related issues:

We suggest sharing these resources with the youth in your life. That way, they have the proper tools to help cope with any situation they find themselves in.

To learn more about the benefits of YAPs visit https://tyan.tamu.edu/yaps/.

How to talk to your children about bullying. (n.d.). Retrieved September 16, 2020, from https://www.unicef.org/end-violence/how-talk-your-children-about-bullying

Karen Pace, M. (2018, November 07). Develop youth and adult partnerships to address bullying. Retrieved October 07, 2020, from https://www.canr.msu.edu/news/develop_youth_and_adult_partnerships_to_address_bullying

Murphey, D., Bandy, T., Schmitz, H., & Moore, K. A. (2013, December). Caring Adults: Important for Positive Child Well-Being. Retrieved September 16, 2020, from https://www.childtrends.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/2013-54CaringAdults.pdf

Olsen, J., & Pace, K. (2013). Be SAFE; Safe, Affirming & Fair Environments. Michigan State University Extension, 1-31. Retrieved October 5, 2020, from https://www.canr.msu.edu/uploads/resources/pdfs/Be_Safe_-_Introduction_(HNI101Intro).pdf