Talking to children, adolescents, and young adults about issues like race, gender, or sex can be difficult. That said, it is critical that these issues are not ignored. Teens and young adults have questions that need answers. Use these questions as an opportunity to have a serious, real life discussion with them.

We at TYAN encourage all adults to be open to discussing these issues with youth. Having these conversations with youth can help them develop positive identities, recognize injustice, and create a society that welcomes diversity and inclusivity.

1. Establish ground rules – To ensure everyone feels respected and heard, establish ground rules. These rules should be decided upon before any conversations begin. The group should establish these rules together, not the leaders. When youth are central to decision making, they feel more comfortable contributing to the conversation.

2. Be authentic – Youth know when an adult is disingenuous. If leaders seem reluctant or uninterested in the conversation, the members will notice. Avoid phrases that may convey that you do not want to have this conversation. It is important to let youth know you are listening, engaged, and there to help.

3. Ensure a safe space – With any hard topic, heated moments can arise. If the conversation turns from accepting to critical, ask your group to take a short break. Stepping away allows members to process their emotions. Validating group members’ feelings is important to a peaceful conversation.

4. Treat youth as equals – Refrain from using a patronizing language during conversations about sensitive topics. Youth are less likely to discuss these issues if they feel dismissed or ignored. Avoid shutting down any thoughts and ideas. Instead, encourage members to share their thoughts and provide constructive feedback.

5. Encourage questions – People sometimes have trouble hearing viewpoints that contradict their own. Ask your group members to listen to each other’s views before responding. Encourage them to ask questions about their peer’s views. Stress the importance of understanding their beliefs before expressing their own perspective. You may not be able to answer every question your youth ask. No one has all the answers. But each question leads to an opportunity for growth and knowledge.

While these tips can be used for a wide range of topics, current world issues will likely bring up questions on race and racism. Below are some great resources from across the web that give specific discussion points and information.

The most important thing is to have these conversations now. If you talk to your group about these issues now, then the discussions can continue going forward.

Dr. Beverly Daniel Tatum’s TEDx talk “Is My Skin Brown Because I Drank Chocolate Milk?”.

First Encounters With Race and Racism: Teaching Ideas for Classroom Conversations – The New York Times

Talking About Race – The National Museum of African American History and Culture

Facing the Divide: Psychology’s Conversation on Race and Health – The American Psychological Association

8 Tips for Talking to Your Child About Racial Injustice – EmbraceRace.org

“Difficult Dialogues.” Vanderbilt University, Vanderbilt University, cft.vanderbilt.edu/guides-sub-pages/difficult-dialogues/

“Talking Race With Young Children.” NPR, NPR, 26 Apr. 2019, www.npr.org/2019/04/24/716700866/talking-race-with-young-children

“What’s New & Upcoming!” Texas Department of State Health Services, 5 June 2020, dshs.texas.gov/adolescent/whatsnew.shtm

“YOUth Voice for Social Justice.” Community Foundation for Southeast Michigan, cfsem.org/initiative/youth-social-justice/